Sometimes i cry so hard for pleading..
Sometimes i had to beg life not to let me go.
Sometimes, i really really hope someone could save me from this cruel world, this fuck up world.

Had a good talk with sam just now ! although it was not long..
yea, i keep things to myself. cause i know there's no one in this world i could trust my words with. everyone's hypocrite. tell me who's not 2 faced? Like a saying, you'll only know who will be there for you only when you're in trouble. definitly not those that suck up to you or those that take you for granted. i maybe pessimistic but who knows the story behind my every tears? or did anyone bother knowing? sadly, the ans is no.
uh-huh i am bitchy , but if you do not know me dont fuckin' judge me. before judging me, reflect on yourself. no one's perfect including you, not sayin' that i am.

what am i to you? toy? swear that i'm constantly checkin' my phone today. just hoping that you would text me. guess what? disappointment. used to it. i felt so silly, felt so stupid, maybe it's just my fault for faliing for the wrong one. i'm letting go. this time , for real and i mean it. i got my life. love's just a word. although life's a piece of shit. this game of ours is over. dont hate me, i'm just not strong enough to hold on.

I'm sorry, really sorry . i regretted, very regretful.. but i dont think anything can make it up.. i know you must have hated me alot alot. truthfully, i didnt feel good too. how i wish i could turn back time to repent for my fault. if not for someone , i guess it would have been a different ending. you're leaving soon, hope you'd be happier over there. i never forgotten those memories. sorry is the only thing i could say. hope you're happier now. i never felt good.

i hope i wont drop to N.A. )): i would do anything to stay in express. Not that one year of different that bothers but i dont wanna create more disappointment for parents already. i hate to see them being upset for me. it hurts alot.

Life dont let me go, if not i wont know how to carry on.