I meant well, but no one appreciate it.
I gave up, you started to treat me better.
I'm your puppet , or you think i've no feeling?
You dont see me cying, doesnt mean i'm strong.
You see me crying, you thought i was over-reacting.

You think i'm really happy? no.

Mummy, i've no idea why you started to treat me so nice.
I'm scared, i would rather you be nagging at me and shouting at me.
Really . i'm scared ):

anyways, brother just came out from the operation theatre. he's well(:
hope he would be strong.
Thinking of it, he had gone through more then me.
So why am i whining here?
Silly me.

The fright's still in me, i couldnt get over it.
You thought it was so easy, sorry it aint.
Using a smile covering my frown.
Gosh it's so hard..
God, can you help me end all these?

Life has no meaning to me.

I teared, i cried, i shouted, i resisted, i rebelled.
No one cared.
This time i'm just gonna escape from everything.
Sorry i aint strong enough to face all these.
Sorry that i'm not a good daughter.
Sorry for causing you so much, pain and hurt.
Sorry that i aint the perfect daughter you want.
Sorry i aint like before.
Sorry that i came to this world and gave you more burden
Sorry for everything.
Maybe one day if i'm gone, you would be celebrating...

tues ah tues, it's definitely not a good day.
Went amk and something happened. That i'll never forget for life.
The fright i had, the disapointment i get.
Yet i still had to face it, alone.

Shouldnt say what had happened, but i'm really tired of being alone.

I'm willing to lose my sleeps just to talk to you.　But after yesterday, i dont feel much.
As time passes, i start to lose interest in your texts. Now , i havent reply you and i dont feel anything. I DONT CARE. This is how i feel everytime i was hurt.
I dont know, i dont care. -.-
Had a nice talk with joan while eating lunch today! Pepper lunch :D I have a very bad sense of directions i realise ! :)
WHATEVER, shall go do my 2 essays and 1 chi compo^^
Deciding whether to meet a buyer at bukit gombat tmr. FAR TTM! -.-

P.S my horoscope ask me to give up on you, so that i'll not fall deeper.
True or not ? :(

Term 4 first day of school.
School was kinda slack. Monday blues yeah~
Back home at around 5 ? Early kay.
Being a goodgirl 96 :> hehe! figure with my stuff until dinner time.
I threw away my dinner, no appetite. ssshhhh :x
Then i wanted to use the laptop, but my youngest brother dont wanna give me.
I was damn piss off. Lied on the sofa, tears started rolling down..i've no idea why.
For a moment i felt like a rock weighing my heart down. Then i went to my room, clean my face and did my english. Heart still weighing a million kg.
Maybe it's cause he did not reply me ba? i dont know. or maybe it's school work. i dont know i dont know. :(
Then this suddenly came to my mind : Dont come to me only when you're bored. I'm not your entertainer. Put that as my status and tweeted it. He damn replied to cared.
Please dont act like you care please. tyvm.
sigh. then someone text me , feel so bad ;x cos i attitude the person.. sorry :<
I dont care anymore, but it's not because i dont, it's just cause i dont have the rights to care. I've been d0ing too much. i dont wanna carry on anymore.
I'm disappointed. Did not have the appetite to eat mooncake too. It's the one i love somemore. :(
You determine my mood, and you ruin it today.

Lazy sunday.
Slept at 2 plus last night t finish my drama, sunny girl :>
It's freakin' nice i swear ! <3 hahaha! wu zun so handsome, aaron yan damn cute! :D
kay whatever, hahaha!
I am like happy nowadays! Cause you've been talking to me! hehe! yay! :D
I'm like getting happy over small things for you, angry for useless things, and jealous over peoples. :P
But I DONT CARE! :P HAHAHAH!

Woke up kind of late today :< haha! then ate breakfast, after that went to that cybersphere to print wordsheets. I swear it's alot. Waste my papers and inks :<
HAHAH! screw math's trigo >< gotta find kwp for IP alre >< sigh sigh!
Blogging while waiting all my worksheets to be print out (: hehe!
Bought tibits yesterday, so i'm gonna nom and finish all my work. Burning midnight oil today, comfirm. Gonna be a good girl today and do work :>
HEHEH! this is a happy post hor ! @ PPL WHO KEEP SAYING MY BLOG DAMN EMO! :P HEHEEH!
OFF TO DO MY WORK ! BUHBYE! :D

Waiting for you reply!(:
92days!

Dont hurt me then apologise. Cause apology cant cure wounds.

I'm letting go. It's too tired holding on.

It's amazing what a smile can do.
But I'm tired of this fake smile you keep believing.
It's so tiring.
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh, every day of my life. My heart can't possibly break. When it wasn't even whole to start with.
Its easy to fake smile, but whats hard is pretending that its true.

You think you understand me and know me well?
That's bullshit.
A really true friend is someone that sees the pain in your eyes, unlike the other who believe the fake smile on your face.
I hate those who think they really know me.
If you really do, you would be able to see that my smile is fake.

You do understand me, the unreal me.

"If doing something I love makes me a loser then I'm glad I'm a loser."

Life's so much better in the weekends, at least i wont feel the lonliness at home. But it's kinda bored uh. Holidays are starting, dont know why i feel insecured. I feel something amiss , like i've lose something important.

You've not talked to me since last night, i feel bad. He told me that maybe you're asleep ? I doubt so. But i rather believe that you're asleep, i didnt want to believe the truth ): Maybe it's me that i'm thinking too much ? I feel uneasy. Everything i do reminds me of you, i guess it aint that easy to let go. It hurts alot to know that you dont give a damn, it hurts more to know that i've to not give a damn too. You never fail to make me guessing, predicting what you're doing, how are you feeling, are you sad, etc. Now I'm musing what to do. Knowing I will always think of you.

What's done can't be undone. I know i've hurt you. I'm sorry for it. Maybe what you wanted wasnt a sorry, and i know not all sorry can be forgiven. But i'm really apologetic. You may hate me, dislike me. But that wouldnt change anything. I really feel very bad everytime when i know you're like cursing me, insulting me, or scolding me. I know i deserve it. I accept it if those could ease your anger.

I shall continue blogging later, gonna go out for dinner. Korean bbq buffet, this could at least cheer me up alittle today ba.